Focus On Weight Loss Success: Image Is Everything
Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, I have failed three times, and what happens when he says, I am a failure. — S. I. Hayakawa, psychologist, former U.S. Senator
In my opinion, this is what separates the dieters who succeed from the dieters who fail.
The idea of living up to your self-concept, or self-image, originated with psychologist Prescott Lecky.
Whether positive or negative, your self-image influences everything you do — how you dress, what kind of house and car you buy, your job, whom you choose as friends, what things you do and what things you avoid doing.
Even if no one else sees you that way.
Let me give you some examples.
The middle-aged mother who thinks she’s still a young chick will dress and flirt like a teenager despite the bags under her eyes and her sagging breasts and behind.
Other people may snicker behind her back, some may openly criticize her, but she’ll continue to act like a teenager as long as she believes in that self-concept.
Or how about the man who races motorcycles, climbs mountains, and dives off cliffs into the ocean?
He’d probably say he loves adventure and excitement. I’d say he’s crazy and has a death wish.
What about people who stay in loveless or abusive relationships because they don’t believe in divorce?
Do you see how each person’s self-image drives his actions? And how those actions reinforce his self-image?
Many people who are overweight have low self-esteem. You may see yourself as unattractive and worst case, as worthless or a failure.
If you have that kind of negative self-image and go on a diet, you set yourself up for a serious internal struggle.
According to Lecky’s theory, you either have to fail on the diet to live up to your negative self-image or you have to change your self-image to one that will let you succeed on the diet.
Basically, he’s saying you won’t succeed unless you truly believe you can.
A negative self-image is the reason you beat yourself up when you cheat on a diet. It’s also why you give up so quickly instead of going back on your diet the next day.
In a future post, I’ll give you some suggestions to overcome a negative self-image.
This is the second article in the series, “Focus On Weight Loss Success,” from ILoveToCheatDiet.com.
Technorati Tags: diet, dieting, lose weight, weight loss, self-image, self-concept, weight loss success, focus on weight loss success, Hayakawa, Lecky
March 28th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
When I first read this, I wasn’t sure what to think. I’ve known people like you described and the actions they take are based on the kind of people they think they are. People who refuse to get a divorce and women who try to dress younger than they are, they just don’t see themselves or their situations as they really are. But when I got to the last part about how you have to fail on your diet to preserve a negative self-image, I thought that was the nuttiest thing I’d ever heard. But when I think about all the times I’ve given up on diets, it really is because I believed I couldn’t do it. When I cheated or the pounds didn’t come off like they were supposed to, it just reinforced what I already believed. Then I’d give up because diets don’t work for me, right? I also beat myself up a lot when I fail on a diet. Now I’m beginning to see that it’s the way I’m approaching weight loss because of what I already believe about myself that might be the problem. I always looked for validation of my beliefs on other weight loss blogs. Other dieters would say how they’d beat themselves up and how impossible it was for them to succeed and I’d think, yeah, me too. Maybe we’re all just reinforcing each other’s negative self-images. I’ve gotta think about this. (Sorry for the long comment.)
March 28th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
I don’t usually believe in psychobabble. But you do have to get rid of negativity about yourself or how can you succeed in anything, especially dieting which can take so long?
March 28th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
I think I have a negative self-image when it comes to dieting because I’ve had so many failures and I just go crazy when I overeat. But my family’s supportive so I don’t feel like a failure with my family and I don’t feel like a failure at work. How can I stop the negativity that’s only happening with dieting?
March 28th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
You know, I really think of myself as a can-do person, but like Tammi, I just can’t make it work with dieting. Answers, please.
March 28th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
I think that it is vital accept yourself (overweight) first and be OK with it. Realize that your family will still love you whether you lose that extra weight or not. Accepting and loving yourself and realizing that you are not broken and don’t need to be ‘fixed’ is essential for me (not always easy though). It’s taken me a long time to realize that my world is probably not going to change that much whether I lose weight or stay the same weight so I might as well accept and love myself now.
March 28th, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Don’t like to think about this one. Rather blame the diet or the people around me than look inside and realize I’m responsible for what’s happening.
March 28th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
This post made me very uncomfortable cuz I just don’t want to believe that I’m fat cuz of the way I’m thinking. But if I’m honest with everyone here, I can’t really deny it either cuz I do think of myself negatively and I give up really easy.
March 28th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Tammi and Denise, it’s very common to feel strong in some situations and weak in others. Some people have positive self-images about work, yet still feel like personal failures. Or vice versa.
Deb makes a good comment. You need to accept yourself now. If you don’t like it when other people judge you harshly, why would you want to do that to yourself? If it were me, I’d start looking at weight loss as a problem to be solved instead of as my identity.
July 25th, 2007 at 1:33 am
[…] something I blogged about previously in “Image Is Everything.” But in that post, I talked about how a negative self-image can cause you to fail on your […]